I bought the domain, then immediately felt like a liar. InfidelitySurvivor.com. Buy it and it will come. I hope it’s not a really long wait to feel like I truly have survived this shit.
Married 25 years and brutally betrayed. Is there any other kind? He probably screwed the hotel clerk on our honeymoon. Didn’t know he was a cheater until Year 15, because quite frankly, it never occurred to me as a possibility. Didn’t catch on that he was not the wholesome, just one side dish, kind of cheater until much later. I married a serial cheater. A textbook sociopath. A narcissist. The fuck you over hat trick.
When did I file for divorce? You mean the first time? 2018. What the hell took me so long and why did I not ink the deal until 2021? Well, my dear BS community, that precisely is what makes me a Super Chump.
Now I am a self-proclaimed SME on the DIY Catch a Cheater Kit, as I like to call it. I figure there are other similar chumps out there. The beginner chumps might be like me and for some insane reason prefer not to read the writing on the wall like the match.com subscription confirmation email and let their soul resign to remain in an abusive situation while digging around for more evidence.
The kit basically consists of tips and suggestions for a jump start for those who prefer to not better their lives, but dig around like Betty Draper. It’s for those who prefer it over showering, over performing well at work, over any self-improvement or self-care, over gatherings with dear friends and oh yeah, over meeting with the needed divorce attorney.
The kit is for those who remain completely dissatisfied with the existing evidence even when it is clear, crystal in fact, that they have more than enough to justify an exit.
How many lies do you need really? Personally, I required a mountain of them. A really really big ass mountain of lies, deceit, betrayal, cruelty, a little itching, gaslighting, and then some. Thus the divorce on the burner way way way over there in the back.
You will get there.
You are just not there YET. YES! One Fine Day — You too will be just too damned exhausted with the Betty digging and ultimately, you will wave the white flag on your sham of a marriage, gather up the scattered remaining shreds of your dignity and just walk the fuck away.
Now if I had just waved that flag back in 2011, maybe I could have run. But, with the swelling mountain I had going by 2021, I was so beaten down with exhaustion, depression and well, simply put, years of hurt, that my exit resembled more of a bloodied up crawl than a walk.
When you do get there, maybe you too will write about it while in your peaceful, humble, new quarters.
You may not have a 25 year old wedding ring on your finger any more, but one sweet day, you will have glorious bells on your toes knowing that you told that sleazy, callous, unrepentant mother fucker, “No more abuse for me, dear, now pass the damn pen.”